Wine, Women and Perfection

Hi Wine Friends,

This past week, I hosted a wine and ice cream pairing event at Arden with two incredible women: Kate from Kate’s Ice Cream and Tamara Hattar of Euzumeh, and it got me thinking about rules—and the unrealistic standards of perfection we hold ourselves to in food, wine, and life.

If you’re unfamiliar with Kate’s Ice Cream, it’s entirely plant-based and gluten-free (though you’d never know it based on how indulgent it tastes!). Kate started her business after her sister was diagnosed as lactose intolerant and suddenly couldn’t join in on family ice cream outings or post–Little League sundae celebrations. So she found a solution--and a delicious one at that! She lives for the moment she gets to hand a child their very first ice cream cone.

Even though she herself can eat gluten and dairy, she built a brand rooted in inclusivity and access. And that’s exactly what we celebrated on Sunday. Tamara, who often cooks with lamb and feta true to her Jordanian roots, crafted a stunning spread of plant-based, gluten-free 'charcuterie' that left no one missing the meat. And I found wines to pair that were organically and biodynamically farmed and free of harmful additives—wines that feel good to drink, inside and out.

It was a room full of joy, not judgment. People treating themselves (because what’s more of a treat than ice cream and wine?) with intention, not restriction. And that felt really special.

Why am I telling you all this? I promise, I have a point…

Some of you might remember my old café, Wild Thing. It was also plant-based and gluten-free. A vibrant labor of love that brought so many beautiful experiences and people into my life—like Dominique, who now creates all the content you see for Raise a Glass and Arden! But even then, I encountered pushback from people who felt betrayed by the fact that I wasn’t fully vegan myself. That I admitted to being an omnivore who aimed for this style of eating 80% of the time.

Here’s the thing: I may not be vegan. But I am passionate about health. I care deeply about our food system and our planet. And I believe—wholeheartedly—that even small choices, made consistently, can make a big difference.

But what I’ve learned is that people get really uncomfortable in the grey. There’s such a strong desire to categorize things: good vs. bad, right vs. wrong, vegan vs. monster, sober vs. alcoholic. But life doesn’t work like that. The more pressure we put on ourselves to be “perfect,” the more likely we are to spiral into guilt and shame—something women deal with enough as is.

This conversation mirrors what’s happening with alcohol right now. There’s a global push to villainize alcohol as a whole. To just say, “all alcohol will kill you and you shouldn’t drink a drop!” But we’re missing the nuance. You can’t compare a mass-produced, additive-heavy bottle of hard liquor to a small-production, organically farmed, native-fermented wine made with love and intention. You can’t compare pounding vodka-sodas at a nightclub to sipping a thoughtfully made wine over dinner with someone you love. And yet, in the public narrative, it’s all lumped together.

I, for one, would like to make good decisions as much as I possibly can, and strive for diet and nutrition habits that have my own personal health as well as the health of our community and planet in mind. But I also recognize that I'm not a superhero. I'm a human with all kinds of emotions and frustrations, and "perfect" is not an achievable state to live in. And also - no matter how thin you slice it - there are always two sides. 

Maybe for someone, vegan works. Maybe for another, an occasional steak from a regenerative local farm works better. Maybe for someone else, being sober is best. For another - a few glasses a week from conscious winemakers feels good. I think if we spent less time judging each other and more time loving ourselves, the world would be a better place. 

Who's with me?

Cheers and until next week,

Kelsey